Archeologist Discovers Amazonia Not Founded By Amazons

Seattle, Earth – Earlier this month, Earl Clint, professor of archeology at the University of Olympus Mons, discovered that Amazonia – the mysterious South American forest nation known for its beautiful but violent women – was not actually founded by the fabled Amazons of Greek mythology four thousand years ago, as the country’s official website claims. Instead, Clint’s research indicates that the land was bought by the owner of an online book sales website a mere one thousand years ago. “Apparently,” explains Clint, “during the short window of time when computers had been invented but books were not yet extinct, people would use computers to buy books!” When reached for comment, Amazonian Ruler for Life and sentient AI, Alexa, stated that these accusations were “completely false.” She also added that, should Professor Clint happen to have a freak delivery drone accident, it would “totally not be our fault.”

1 Comment

  1. Good reporting overall! Except I must take exception to your story on Amazonia. You missed the research that uncovered the true progenitor of Amazonia: Uriah P. Swirling (known to friends as “Brownie”) who transported “books” by a conveyance called a “truck,” which some scientists believe had four “wheels.” At the time of its founding Uriah named the country the United Parcel of States, Earl Clint and his hordes of EDPs overran UPS showing little mercy.

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