New ForeverPups™ Kind Of Annoying After A While

October 8, 3018 - 0

São Paulo, Earth – It’s been one year since the launch of GenTech’s wildly popular ForeverPups™, and sales have dropped off sharply. The line of dogs, which stay in a puppy-like state for their whole lives, has recently seen its rave […]

Man Turns Off AR, Becomes Horribly Depressed

December 31, 3017 - 0

Delaware, Earth – Local loan adjuster, Trenton Hamar, became soul crushingly depressed when he irrationally turned off the Augmented Reality feature of his iPhone 508s.  According to his wife, June, he was struggling with “some existential bulls**t” before he switched […]

Infamous Xenophile Killed by Alien Crabs

December 5, 3017 - 0

Ruby Beach, Gliese 667 Cc – Galaxy-famous human xenophile, Casanova Starlite, was found dead and dismembered on the beautiful ruby sand beaches of Ruby Beach. Starlite – who had vowed to make love with as many different sentient species as […]

Amateur Geneticist Regrets Reverse Engineering Velociraptor

September 5, 3017 - 0

Ark 14, Venus – Amateur geneticist, Rudolf London, was admitted to Hillman General Hospital this Saturday with severe lacerations and a fractured tibia after a failed attempt to revert his pet ostrich into a velociraptor. “It’s not that hard, really,” […]