Generation Ship Arrives at Planet with No Vacancies

New Hope, Proxima Centauri Prime – Earlier this week, an 800-year-old generation ship, the LDSS Seagull, arrived in orbit around Proxima Centauri Prime only to find the planet had already been fully colonized. Built before the invention of faster-than-light travel, the Seagull’s crew of five hundred Mormon missionaries subsisted by farming around a small fusion core that acted as an artificial sun for about thirty generations. Asking after their families back on earth, the crew were not at all surprised to hear that the entire Mormon population had been raptured on June 27, 2844, the one thousand year anniversary of the death of their prophet Joseph Smith. When asked what their plans were now, Elder Layton relayed: “Well, I guess there’s nothing left to do but head back and try to catch the next rapture. I figure if we can get out of here before dinner, and we don’t make any stops along the way, we might just make it.”

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