Infamous Xenophile Killed by Alien Crabs

Ruby Beach, Gliese 667 Cc – Galaxy-famous human xenophile, Casanova Starlite, was found dead and dismembered on the beautiful ruby sand beaches of Ruby Beach. Starlite – who had vowed to make love with as many different sentient species as were even remotely viable – was a polarizing figure who drew condemnation from religious leaders, nationalists, speciesists, epidemiologists, and prudes from all walks of life. Despite this, Starlite enjoyed a huge, multispecies fan base that heralded him as a goodwill ambassador from an otherwise drab and unremarkable species. Shlik Shlak – a matriarch of the Gleek species of crab people – came forward to take responsibility for the tragic death. Shlak claimed that Starlite had engaged her and the rest of her brood in a traditional Gleek orgy. The orgy ended as nature dictates, in a mindless feeding frenzy, which would be no threat to a well armored Gleek male, but which tore Starlite to shreds. Shlak was inconsolable, screaming repeatedly “So, squishy! He was just so squishy!” No charges are being filed against Shlik Shlak or her brood at this time, and the death is likely to be ruled an accident. Casanova Starlite was 42 at the time of his death. From everyone here at 31st Century News we offer our deepest condolences to his family and paramours. He will be sorely missed.

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