Man Turns Off AR, Becomes Horribly Depressed

Delaware, Earth – Local loan adjuster, Trenton Hamar, became soul crushingly depressed when he irrationally turned off the Augmented Reality feature of his iPhone 508s.  According to his wife, June, he was struggling with “some existential bulls**t” before he switched off the AR function of his brain. She explained that he started looking “really closely at stupid things, like walls, and lamps, and saying ‘huh’, then moving on to other, completely random, boring crap and acting like it was interesting.” Mr. Hamar was eventually found in a public park sobbing and declaring, “We’re all just made of dirt!” over and over again. He made no attempt to resist local authorities, and psychiatric specialists at the Dover Behavioral Health Centre said that “he will be just fine once we get a few basic apps back into his system.”

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