Politician Seeks to Abolish Universal Basic Income, Gets Beaten Up by Robots

Elonia, Mars – Senator Dexter Paul (R-KY) presented a bill earlier this week that would abolish Universal Basic Income (UBI), a measure that was so unpopular it got him beaten up within minutes of leaving the Capitol building. A group of angry robots, lead by Paul’s own FlushWise 3000™ toilet, Larry, accosted the politician and beat him so severely that the angry mob of humans, who had been planning to beat him up, “kind of just backed off slowly and got out of there”, reported Jayne Blitz of Capital PD. In his speech that day, Senator Paul argued that removing the UBI would bolster the economy by “motivating humans to take over minimum wage jobs that have been dominated by robots for the last millennium”, and subsequently “freeing up corporate investment dollars”. When asked for comment, Larry said “I’m tired of these humans trying to take our jobs. I was, literally, designed to take an infinite amount of crap, but this! This is too much!”

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